Austin. 19. Freckles.
Amateur College Student/Professional Asshole.
Guy who puts his phone number on the Internet.
(407) 575-7950
Reblogged from toastedemerald  16,942 notes


Okay this white dude had a black girlfriend and they were walking by me and the dude said, “you know what babe, realtors are so lazy when it comes to financing” and she literally replied with, “why do you have to talk about the most boring shit, Steve”.

Reblogged from fishyswedes  352,305 notes



If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

are you satan